The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
— Albert Einstein
My Blind Faith Failed Me

My Blind Faith Failed Me

As a teenager, I told several friends and mentors that I was struggling with doubts about God.

You know what most people told me?

 

“You need to have more faith.”

 

They were well-meaning, but that answer is about as helpful as asking for help with a math equation and being told: “you need to know the answer.”

Thank God eventually I had at least one mentor give me a good answer, but all the rest inadvertently helped me further down a road of doubt.

The type of faith they were telling me to have was blind faith. None of them called it "blind faith" of course, but that is in effect what they were promoting.

 

At the time the best way I could describe faith was a feeling of being connected to God. Part of me felt like the doubts were my fault. I thought my doubts were sins clouding that pure feeling of closeness to God that I once felt. The other part of me felt it was God’s fault. In frustration, I would ask Him why He wouldn’t restore the feeling of closeness again. I knew it would be easy for Him, but I didn’t know why He didn’t.

I thought perhaps God was testing me. Perhaps I just needed to wait out this feeling of doubt and God would return to me the elation of a new believer. But a part of me doubted that would happen too.

 

I read my Bible, I prayed, I fasted, and the doubts kept coming. I was spiraling deeper into doubts and I was afraid where that would leave me.

 

Finally, I spoke with a pastor who had a different answer for me. He had 5 minutes until a meeting so he kept things short and to the point. I told him I was doubting my faith. He asked me what specifically I was doubting and I said: “I’m not sure God or Jesus existed.”

Without skipping a beat, he asked me “Do you believe George Washington existed?” I said yes.

“How do you know George Washington existed?” he asked. I thought about it and said, “I’m not sure.”

He quickly explained, “We believe George Washington existed because we have good historical evidence to believe so.” “We also have great historical evidence that Jesus existed, so there’s no more reason to doubt Jesus existed than George Washington.”

 

After that, he had to go to a meeting, but I never forgot that exchange. It didn’t click right away, but his view of faith was so different from what I had been hearing and believing. It almost seemed too simple, worldly even.

I had been so obsessed with this mysterious, overly spiritual, feel-good aspect of faith that I thought I had to somehow muster up in my soul. What he was suggesting was that I could do some historical digging and find my answers there.

 

Soon after that discussion, I discovered the ministry of Ravi Zacharias which introduced me to apologetics. I ate up apologetics books and audio and found my faith was growing. It didn’t happen overnight, but gradually I developed a stronger faith than I ever had.

 

As a new believer, I was “on fire” for the Lord but when those strong emotions fizzled out I doubted my faith. After finding evidence and reasons to believe, my faith had a new foundation far more stable than emotions.

The problem with my blind faith was that I was shutting my eyes and trying to stoke a fire of emotion within my heart. When I discovered apologetics, I opened my eyes to see the solid evidence that God had already graciously provided me.

 

Faith was never meant to be bound to feelings. It was always based on solid reasons.

Jesus performed signs and miracles to show that He was truly God. When John the Baptist doubted Jesus, Jesus gave him evidence. The Apostles shared the news of the resurrected savior and defended it with eyewitness accounts. Even Abraham who did great acts of faith, received his commands from the voice of God Himself.

The Bible never expects believers to have blind faith. Our God is far too kind for that.

 

My blind faith failed me, but since I’ve opened my eyes my faith continues to grow richer and deeper.

Don’t settle for blind faith. If you do, you’re missing out. You can have a life full of faith with your eyes wide open.

 

Will you open them?

 

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